A Caregiver’s Lament

Fear is that I’m not doing enough for you and that in some way I am letting you down 

Grief is that I watch you fade away right in front of me and I want to grab onto every moment while we can 

Patience is listening to you repeat the same demands over and over at the end of the day when I am so tired. 

Worry is that I am missing something or have not understood what you need right now 

Loneliness is the feeling that no one else knows what is happening to us 

Joy is reading to you in a lamp lit room, the stories of my youth mingling with the remembrances of yours 

Comfort is having you hold my hand and squeezing it when we have no more words 

Calm is watching you sleep and knowing, for the moment, you are safe and pain-free 

Peace is knowing you are with me, for now 

Fear is knowing you will be gone soon.  

Mary-Anne Parker
Saskatoon